falling west (silver moon)

[parch]

woman, moon, a scarlet night, dance and dream and shelter this making, a waking mind mind mind feels so smooth at ease the pleasure of being near your mountains and valleys the pleasure of your crevices and tombs...another dawn comes through the window and your skin lights soft white silk, furious memories flood downstream away from thought while i dream and sleep and eat and breathe in you this song deepens in me so far back in caves and my holes now being filled over with sweat and smiles ...something worth having...you maybe us and slowly i come back, isn't this terrible, wonderful unbelievable in the sun but no...it is not, for sun died and the dreadful heat was replaced by you, goddess, steamy night, grey peace in slow drift you move glaciers of heart...so much being goes into you that i feel anew with one look and i feel something more now, more than yesterday and days before but i always feel as thought there will never be another high point, until you brush by me again, and spring my fancies, test my soul...i could melt upon you sweet face and silver moon shining sails in the wet night i call you shelter for fear and nothing to touch can break this.

nothing breaking this.

___---parch

[machinery]

fucking speechless sir. *nods and salutes*

[Serenna]

*smiles
very sweet
i loved the last line..."nothing breaking this"
so true, so true

[Hannibal]

I was a bit lost... I mean, the imagery was there, but... it was more than one image, which may have been the intention, i dont know. But.. when I read your poetry, it seems like I get a ton of images, random, none related to one another but each as detailed as the others. I'm not sure how you intend for your poetry to come across, but that's just how i get it. I read it, and re-read, and just images, of things, people,places..., It's good, just confusing.

[machinery]

That's the main reason why I liked it. Maybe it was the writer's intention.............
I dug it because it was in your face for every line, non stop , no breaths..notta notta.....

I took to it....

[Truth Alexander]

I have to agree with Hannibal on this one...........The imagery is there, and its GREAT don't get me wrong........But its just kinda scattered, and it doesn't really flow together........And I, like Hannibal, often get a tad confused when reading your peotry.........Your words create great pictures in my mind........But I just can't seem to get the words and images to flow together as one........Of course what the hell do I know, that just my opinion........I could be wrong (going out like Dennis Miller on this one)..........The Truth

[parch]

ok....
thanks for the replies guys... the images are put there on purpose..and in my head it flows...but that's just cause its my head,. if the reader (you guys) doesn't get the flow or can't process images... or lines or words or whatever -- then the poem in unsuccessful.. so this poem didn't succeed it seems. are the images you speak of...defined? in/out of order, ? .. real images? full images? too detailed? not enought detail? lacking some glue to piece em' together?....
key question- do the images mean anything to you, because if not then the whole poem lost itself inside itself. because the poem did have a purpose and meaning. if you can't see it...then its not really there.

thanks for the input.

___---parch

[ranter]

again...just looking over old stuff...i liked this the images flowed just like my mind when im in that position your mind is racing you can focus on one particular image or thought and you established that perfectly, just like my heart racing as is my mind.